Fuck this shit.
Sometimes i just dont fucking understand certain things. And i probably never will.
But now i will take my own words and "Shut up, when you dont have anything normal to say".
Happy friday folks.
Swedish day today.
Ursh och fy vad jag har stressat nu, senaste dagarna. Inte sâ farligt med ridning osv, ja igâr 4 hästar men det är ingen fara. Men däremot, eftersom den lilla svarta kusen var pâväg till sverige, sâ har jag fâtt 100 samtal per dag frân nya ägaren, o sâ har jag skickat 100 sms till Karoliina som hjälper mig med kontakt med Katja osv osv.
Men igâr anlände han pâ Solvalla travbana. Kraken var helt panikslagen dâ det var trav just igâr och när han tar första steget ut pâ lämmen skriker de i högtalarna: Ett, tvâ, tre KÖR! :,( kraken...
Inte nog med det sâ var planen att lâta honom vila över natten eller âtminstone ett par timmar pâ solvalla, innan de kör den sista biten hem till Kvissleby, men dâ det skulle bli underkylt regn o storm o allt sâ fick de köra direkt...
MEEEN men, Nu är han pâ plats och de verkar super nöjda sâ mer kan man ju inte begära!
Idag fick jag min julklapp till Lillebror Ludde, och jag tror och hoppas att han blir glad :) Har dessutom köpt julklapp till Leffe, men frâgan är hur fanken jag ska kunna fâ med det till sverige... Dâ det är vätska delvis sâ fâr jag ju inte ta med det pâ flyget, dâ det är för stora behâllare, sâ tänkte skicka det med post, men det är glas, och glasflaskor, sâ är lite orolig att det är ett vâtt paket med glassplitter som anländer.... Hmmm mâste klura pâ det...
Nu ska jag fixa och dona lite, sen ikväll blir det väl stallet o hitta pâ nât med min lilla pärla. Tror att jag bara har henne o rida idag, sâ det kan ju bli en lugn och skön dag :) Vem vet.
När jag ändâ pratar om paket, sâ sitter jag ihärdigt o väntar pâ nâgot frân Poot, och dessutom sâ har jag beställt 2 t-shirtar och ett linne frân tyskland och igâr sâ skickade vi även efter en tjocktröja till mig, och en tshirt, som jag fâr i julklapp frân min pojk :D sâ det är lite som ska "ramla in" :) Och jag är som ett barn pâ julafton! Hihihi!
Snart är det dags för o âka hem, och jag längtar nât sâ förbaskat! Det är snart 5 mânader sen jag var i sverige, o det är ju banne mig alldeles för lângt!! Saknar familj o vänner maaassvis. Vill träffa allt och alla, men tyvärr sâ vet jag ju att en vecka gâr alldeles för fort, speciellt över jul.... Men vi fâr se. Lite ska jag allt hinna med :) Vet dock inte än om min pöjk kommer med, beror ju inte bara pâ pengar, o hund, det är ju ocksâ sâ att vi vill flytta över till vârat sovrum nu, innan det blir kallt, o just nu gâr det lite lângsamt pga att joren jobbar hârt hela dagarna o lägger sten. Att sedan dâ komma hem o jobba mer med sten, förstâr jag inte är sâ kul. Men hâller bâde tummar och târ att han kommer med.
Okey, im still alive!
So, once again long time without any updates... But its pretty stressful now, but hopefully the worst stress is over after today, when the small black horse has left for sweden.
So what has happend... Well, mostly the normal shit... Riding, and fixing this and that. But on saturday we where in antwerp for christmas shopping.. But yeah, i ended up only buying the stuff i needed for myself.
Since i never buy anything for me, like clothes and so, there was some "catching up" to do... Bought myself a new jacket, a adidas sweater, 2 skirts, 2 pair of shoes, and a dress. Then some small stuff but no christmas presents.
Well, for my brother i allready have, or yeah, its on its way.. But for the rest, i almost dont even have any ideas.. Hmmm... Not so nice, but i guess i just have to continue thinking about it, since i have time anyway ;)
Today i also ordered 2 t shirts and a sleeveless top. Now the only thing i still have to buy for myself is some new underwear, but that can wait for a bit, its not THAT long ago since i bought a whole bunch of underwear so.. But you can never have to little he.. ;)
So today, now im waiting for the veterinarian from the ministry, to come and make the final transport papers for Di Zoë. And then around 18, the transport should arrive.... After that, my care have to go to the garage for maintenance and small reparations, but im not looking forward for that bill :( But yeah, has to be done, because i like my car, and i dont want to buy a new one for a while....
Today i have allready been to Itza. Did some free jumping, and actually she did it pretty good in the end. When the fences was around 1m - 1.10m and a canter pole between, she actually calmed down, and did it real nice. No Crazy arabian run :) Nice pony!
Last week i rode her pretty hard, so she is a bit tired right now, thats why im mixing a bit more, and not only riding and lunging. Probably gonna take a walk on the rode one of these days also, just for some hardness under the feet, and some new stuff to see. :)
Buueeh.. Bad weather :(
Today is one of them days when everything is heavy to do. It was the first day of work for me, since i broke the finger. But now, since 1-2 days ago, the finger start swelling, being warm and hurting again :S Not nice at all, guess if it doesnt get better again i must call the doctor. Maybe started work to early? ^^, hehe dont know, but both stable, and cleaning is hard for the hands so... And when im riding i have a tendency to hit my finger (Wich im still keeping straight) on the saddle or so, and that hurts as hell. Well well, money need to come in he...
So today in the afternoon / Evening im off to the stable, probably to ride Bo, and of course itza :) But it just started raining, and at the same time its pretty cold so im not that tempted to go for the moment... Also, cold makes my finger even more hurtful.
Oh, on monday one horse is leaving, so then i can breath out a bit. Its allways so much stress with the papers, the transport, vet check this and that and 100 phonecalls here and there. But yeah, i do hope a nice future together with the horse :)
Since im allready "complaining" here, i can also better write that i have a lot pain in my body right now. Just pure pain, cramps, "stabbs" and so on. Not so happy about it. And a lot of head ache, especially in the late afternoons / Early evenings. Baah....
Wellwell, boring update, i know. But at least its an uppdate! ;)
Toodiluu!
What happend?
I have been wondering now, for a while, where the horse keeping in some countries went wrong... Im not gonna go in on it in general, what i today want to write about is the feeding habits!!
In sweden we all know that hay, is the most important food for a horse in captivity. And that it should have this and that amount per 100kg body weight, that it should eat often but smaller amounts.
I have allways given my horse at least 3 meals per day. Every meal with hay, and then complementative food as oats or lusern, minerals, salt, vitamines and so on and so on!
Here in belgium they dont feed that much hay. This is what some people wanted to feed Itza: (Wich i changed into how i wanted as soon as i knew)
In the morning: Müsli
In the evening: Hay and müsli.
NOTHING in between.
I noticed that itza was extremely hungry, something i have never seen on her, so i asked what she gets and that was it.
Now she gets hay and müsli in the morning.
In the afternoon when she comes in, she gets hay.
In the evening she gets Hay, "betfor"(dont know the word in english betepulp or something in dutch.), müsli and her food supliments.
Still i think i will have to give her more later on, when she works more.
But its not only in belgium i see this. It was in germany, some stables in sweden also did it, and then here, and i just wonder, why? When you know that a horse is made for eating grass, and the most natural we then can give is hay, why do you start changing it in to a animal that eats something else? I have big difficulties to believe that the horse gets better if you feed by the concept "more power food than hay"... Maybe first it has a bit more energy, but after a while it wont work. It must get problems with the stomach, and also it wont have enough fat to build muscles from!
Something they use here in belgium is corn silage. The rests of corn, chopped into small pieces, and then put in plastic to start the process... Ok, Itza ate it when she came to belgium, she got free amounts of that, and also hay, and she gained quite some weight. But then over the summer you dont feed it, since its too warm, and the corn gets bad too quick. After that, she refused to eat it.
I just dont understand, where it all went so wrong.. Sometimes i miss sweden. With that i meen, Horse Sweden. What we can offer our horses with our forests, long sand roads, laws on having them outside everyday with company.... Ok, its expensive as hell to have a horse in sweden, but for the rest, how we threat our horses as gods, do everything we can to let them have a perfect life... Yep, i miss it. Also, i miss to be able to variate the riding in a different way.
Ok, now i can choose if i want to ride dressage, jump, long, maybe take a small walk on the road.. But the roads are contrete. Not nice at all, and not made for anything else than walks..
I miss the forest. To decide that today, we are just gonna take a long relaxed walk, or today we are gonna train condition on the sandroads and hills... Its lovely... Gosh i miss it.. And im sure itza does too.
O-oh, again, no updates ;)
So, now i have been very quiet for a couple of days, but it has been a bit too much to do, with lessons, Training the horses, checking horses, and this and that.
Well everything goes good, and my finger is getting better aswell. Now im able to ride, and do most normal stuff, as long as im a bit carefull.
Just have to say that my beauty, Walitza, is going much better! Todays training was super actually. She is more like she was when she felt the best, before the disease, before the lameness, before the knowledge of artrosis in the back. Just feeling supple, and willing to collect and extend, and then its a pleasure!
I do really hope it will continue in this direction, because then the future is feeling a bit brighter together with her.
Might even be so that we can go in a couple of competitions again in the future. That is my small goals for next year, to start in some small competition, just do it easy, for fun, and just get the feeling back again.
My dream goal with her is to be able to start a M3, wich should be possible, because she and i has the knowledge, but we would need to train for someone then, and also we both need to stay supple.
I really do miss competing, so it would be sad if it was not possible for us. Ok, i can allways compete other horses, but it is not the same. It is not my horse. My horse that i have put all time, effort, tears, sweat, money and Love in. Well, i think its good that i have goals, because one goal that i put up for us, just after the threatment, was that, before the year is over, i want to get itza more or less back in shape. Ok, she is not just quite there, but she is not far away. We just need to match eachother again and find the harmony that we once had.
I would also start to jump a bit, but that is nothing i will hurry with, because of the fact that bouncing on the back can be painful for her, and if she does the lunatic jumps as she normally does in the beginning, it is difficult to NOT bounce. Well, i just know that she would love to jump again, and i would also find it fun. But really train jumping will have to wait. Small jumps at home, might be a bit closer in the future. Have allready jumped, but very small, so, think it will be possible again.
Well, was gonna write about feeding routines actually, but maybe ill do that tomorrow instead then..
Now pills, and go to bed i guess. Today i have had cramp, badly. Especially in the muscles around the ribs, and it was not pleasant. For the rest, it has been very wet air today, and i find it nice, so easy for breathing, so fresh!
So, Good night!
Progress!
I will just put up pictures of the house, and its progress! I know Joren put the pictures up on facebook yesterday, but yeah, ill put it up here anyway. So here it comes!
Bedroom
Also Bedroom
Shower room!
Bathroom!
Busy, horses eeeverywhere..
On monday i went around in belgium, checking out new sales horses. So since that i have been busy with cuting the video materials and putting up ads and this and that. But still dont have the videos i filmed, Matthias has to help me to get the material from the camera since they didnt let me borrow the cable to it.. But yeah...
What else is new...The small black one is sold more or less, vet check was today and it was super. So now im busy fixing the paperwork, and trying to arrange the transport and all... Its a lot more work when you sell a horse on your own to another country, but in the other hand, its nicer to arrange everything by yourself, because then you know everything directly, plus that you learn what has to be done in wich order and so on.
So if you know anyone looking for horses, ponies, you name it, ask me. I have around 8 horses for sale now, and i can also find horses for you, go and check them out and make videos and so on.
Now i will continue with what i was doing, and then later on, off to my lovely pony.
Yeah almost forgot, now im also holding lessons for the 8 year old sister, to the other girl. Not as easy because i need to say everything in a correct way, but still simple in my explanations... Well its fun, and they both seem to like the lessons so, guess i better keep up the good work ;)
Up and Down, just like a rollercoaster!
My body is seriously not ok right now, and that my dear friends, makes me an emotional idiot.
Since i broke my finger i have started with more medicines. And what is medications for? To make you feel better, right? Well, it aint the case.
My finger is ok, the only shit is that im not allowed to use it too much yet and that makes me crazy, but that you allready know. The pills for the pain, wich i only take when i really need it, since im not a big fan of pills, makes my stomach go wild. Im not hungry but still it screams, bubbles, hurts, "Magkatarr" in swedish...
The pills for sleeping, makes me "lose my tonge", makes me a bit "dislocated" sometimes, and also, i get a breeze of memory loss, mostly from the evening before when i have been taking the pill allready, but also if i wake up in the morning, goes up to the toilette, speakes with Joren before he leaves... Dont remember.
And then there is also one problem, wich im not gonna mention by name, but a lot of pills can cause it, because you change the flora in the body... And i seem to be extremely sensitive to that. Wich is crap...
So, thanks to all that shit, and maybe there is more under the surface, even i dont know, but all this crap with my body, it makes me go uuuuuuuuuuuup and dooooooooooooooown and uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup and dooooown in my mood, and im sorry for you people that has to be around me, i cant help it..
Im sorry!
Emotional eating... YumYum!
I must say that emotional eating is something that has deep roots in me and my character, and i think im pretty powerless to it. Ok, i dont meen that im a slave to it, i can pretend like i dont feel like eating that chocolate bar, or that Bag of maltezers and so on, and the pretending works pretty good, until it doesnt..
I wouldnt say that im sooo depressed or something, its not because of depression im eating.. Cause im not depressed, of course i would eat treats if i was depressed aswell ;)
But i know how my Emotional-Eating-Schedule looks more or less, if the chocolate devil can decide, Maybe you can recognize yourself in some one of these?
There is 2 feelings when im not eating that much crap:
- When im angry :
Well, when im angry i have a tendency to "starve" myself, i meen, if im really pissed, it doesnt matter if im hungry or what ever. I will just not eat, its not allways because i have done something wrong and need to be "punished", it can also be because of someone else, that im so angry on that i will rather starve myself than give "you" right. Sounds silly, i know, but its just there...
- When im happy:
Well, i wouldnt say that im not eating when im happy, but when im happy i rather take a fruit, or a sandwich, to stop hunger, and thats it. Because when your happy your body allready has the endorfines and so, so "suplimental happyness" is not necessary.
Then there is the other ones:
- When im stressed:
Then i have a tendency to eat...junk... Well when im stressed i dont do it on "purpous" or what to call it, i just grab the quickest i can and eat and then thats it. Not healthy, because i might eat lets say a piece of chocolate or so, and for the rest not much at all until really late in the evening. Not so healthy he?
- When im sad: Hmm sad or depressed is not the exact therm im looking for, im not that often really sad or so, but i meen, when you have something that brings you down, big or small, then its easy to "threat" your sadness with some chocolate, or cookies, or what so ever.. And i can eat alot.
I know i do it, but not for sure at exactly that moment. I have periods when im not feeling at all that im stressed, sad, angry or what ever, but the eating is still there. I have sometimes periods when im just feeling "--------------------------------------" in my brain, no feelings, but under that state of mind, there is allways something, even if you cant translate it into your language, you allways feel something, right?
What im trying to say is: It doesnt matter if you or anyone else tries to point the finger and say: Hoooola, you eat alot now he?" It will still be periods when im eating more and also when im eating less. Thats my life..
Well, i make myself sound like one of the most unhealthiest persons there is, but to be honest, if we have it at home i do prefere vegetables with some "dipp", or a warm cup of tea..
But the matter of fact, im also doing quite alot. My job is not a "sitting and staring on a screen" job, i work with cleaning around 30-35 hours a week. After that i also ride 20-25 horses a week, and as a plus sometimes i go for a walk, or take a run. Or do sit ups and push ups and so on.
Now this has been a long one, and i dont know if its that interesting for you to read, but it was nice writing about it. Haha :)
Good night folks!
Humor pâ morgonkvisten!
Hahaha this is how i feel right now :
Childish, Bored and bleeeeeh!
This stupid finger, is making me go crazy. It doesnt hurt that much, but the fact that im not allowed to do a shit...
Not fun at all... Now im gonna go pick up some wall paper and then clean a bit i guess. WOHO!!
Everything is possible.
Im not gonna say what i have done today. Just that it was more or less possible also with 2 fingers that cant be moved. Yep.
Today i went to a store and bought a writing "book". I have started to write a "cookbook for dummies" for my boyfriend. So yeah, it keeps me a little bit busy, but only until i get cramp in the hand and elbow from writing...
Well, the new pills i started with yesterday seem to be pretty powerful, especially in combination of the other ones; Redomex 25... First i felt like i needed to pie, so i think i went to the toilet maybe 3 times during a period of 30 min? And for every time i went up, i felt more and more dizzy, and almost drunk.
Joren wanted to shut the tv off, but i asked him to leave it on because i didnt feel enough sleepy, but just maybe 5 minites later, i asked him to turn it off, and then i fell asleep right away... so yeah, powerfull indeed.
Im thinking of exept from just keeping diary, that i might also start writing about certain subjects, like "future dreams", and this and that, but then i need to keep new subjects coming, and thats the difficult part. Its not difficult for me to write about anything, but to find shit to write about. So if you readers is thinking of certain subjects that you would like me to write about, just let me know! Post it in an coment or what ever.
Now i will search for fun shit at youtube or so...
Here you go: Do you see the crack??
----- boring -----
äeh, fuck it. Was gonna write some stuff, and put up a pic of me and the fucking finger but what ever. Doesnt matter.
Now try some more fun "fucking-with-your-brain-pills", got some new relaxating pills to make me sleep. Great. Since im so tired all the time, that i could sleep all day, this is gonna be awsome. Sleep.
Up yours.
Broken finger = Restless Anna
Yepp, you read right, Its broken!
Went to work this morning, with the intentions to work the pain away but that wasnt possible..
Worked for about 45 min, after that i called the doctor to make an appointment.
After that, home, rest for 1 hour, then leave for the doctor. The doctor sends me to the hospital for xrays. Btw, the doctor got a bit confused about the reumatologist im going to, but ill come back to that later..
Went to the hospital, took the pictures, and yepp, a fracture between the small joints on the finger itself.
Down to the emergency to fix it, and i think we all know how it is in the emergency... Waiting, waiting and WAITING! Then someone comes and you get big hopes that this might go pretty quick anyway, but they just show you to another waiting room. Same procedure again, then in to a room, where i speak with a doctor, "But the orthopedist surgeon will be here in 2 minutes"...(2x15 min) It was obviously so that the fracture goes in to one of the joints but it was not nessecary to operate, thank god...
So, no work for 2 weeks, and for sure no riding for 1 week, maybe more, i have to feel it myself, but it will take 3-4 weeks for the shit to be heeled.
And lets say it like this : Going from working 36 hours a week with cleaning Plus riding around 20-25 horses a week, to nothing, is pretty shit... And it makes me nervous just to think about it.... :(
Back to the thing with my reumatholigist.. He had called my housedoctor about my fibromyalgi, and said that he is giving me Magnesium, vitamine D, something in the evening to sleep, and send me to a fysiotherapist for relaxation exercises.... Hmmmmmmm what he has done is give me magnesium and antidepressives and say : Bye, see you in 4 month"... So now my house doctor prescribed more magnesium, vitamine D, some muscle relaxating pill for sleeping, and a note for the fysiotherapist... Why cant anyone just do their job right from the beginning??
Now im gonna take a pill and lay down in bed, for next episode of "The clan".
Good night!
Painful but sucessful day!
Well, first of all, Jorens mother and grandmother came this morning to start with the wall paper! They did a good job, and it looks awsome! We got a bit short of paper though, so need to order a bit more, but at least now its possible to continnue a bit :)
I havnt been home that much today. Ok, i slept a bit longer today, but im still extremely tired. At 11 i went to the pony client, to ride the ponies. I ended up riding 1 and holding a new lesson, so i guess the liked my previous lesson :)
But the "stoute pony" Maestro had some own ideas of how to work today. haha! He made me eat the dust... First up on the backlegs, and then a hard buck.. And on a small c pony, with nothing in the front, i ended up on the short neck, and then off. Kept holding the reins so the pony didnt run away, and somewhere in there, in that mess, i injured my finger.. Hmm its blue.. First joint on the finger = blue, 2/ last joint on the finger also blue, and its as swollen as it can get. If i had a camera that works i would take a pic but now we dont.
But we see, if its not better in a few days i guess i have to xray it.
In the afternoon i went to the stable, was gonna ride Boogaloo, and clip Itza. Ended up holding my pony + cliping the head, the rest was done for me :) Riding will be done tomorrow instead, just hope the weather will be better than they predict....
So Itza is now nice and shaved, well, a few things left under the belly, but since she kicks like a mule, we decided to let them be, maybe just clip then with a scissor or so..
Now a warm shower, and crawl into bed as early as possible. Tomorrow its work 8-13.00, and then Ride Di Zoë, Boogaloo, Bilenka, and Itza.
So wish me good night sleep, and good luck with the weather tomorrow, because i will need it!
Still busy!
Well, a whole lot is going on right now, with the house, new clients with horses, cleaning and so on and so on!
The house is going forward! On sunday the wallpaper in bathroom and shower will be put in!! Then more can be done, because as it is now everything is waiting for "this and that" to be done before. Well, the bathtub is put in place, the floor in bathroom is put in, celings in shower and bathroom painted ( Or yeah, shower and half bathroom this far.)
Today i finished the last corner gaps in the bedroom, so in there its some sanding that needs to be done, and then primer, after that Its ready to be wallpapered aswell!
But its starting to be a bit shorter of time now, Joren has put the limit on half of november, then it has to be possible to start sleeping in the bedroom!
Will start taking some pictures soon and show :)
Well, today i was supposed to hold the first lesson for the young girl, but because it was raining so badly, we moved it till tomorrow. And maybe that was good.
So, tomorrow, will be riding before noon, with itza (If her legs are better, they where swollen today again!!!) and probably Boogaloo and some more. After that, around 15.00 i hold the lesson, and hoping for better weather. After that i guess i have to see if i can do something in the house, otherwise some cleaning will occur, because as allways, thats also nessecary.
Sunday is normally my free day from riding, but i have more or less changed it to fridays, since there is not enough time, now with the new client, the ponies, they want me to ride them 2 times a week, plus give lessons 1 a week, so, sunday will have to be given to them ponies. But it doesnt take too long if there is no one to speak too much to ;) Allways the same, i speak too much sometimes, when it comes to horses especially, but yeah.
Must say though, that i really feel in my body wich days i have not been riding, because i have more pain then. Ok, sometime my body will probably need a week of rest and so on, but that will happen when im in sweden or somewhere else, because when im here, i need to ride :) Its just how it is, and thats also when i feel the best :)
