Note for the next doctors appointment.
Now im back in Belgium, and it feels nice, even though i allready miss my family and friends. Have been nice to come home, and cuddle a bit with my love, and also go to my horse and see how she was doing.
In this "update" i will write a note, more for me, to remember in february. I have been sitting writing this shit up on post-its, but i know they will disapear, so im gonna write it here, where it will stay as long as im not deleting it. It will be honest and pure.
My "side effects"
- Lack of libido.
- Extreme lust for eating crap as candy and other sweet things.
- Headache ( Wich is not disapearing with pills, stays the whole day, and sometimes i wake up the day after with it aswell.
- Tiredness (Bit more than before)
- Heart rush.
- Sweating more.
Other things to also talk about with Mr doctor
- Shakey..
- Spasms!
- Cramps!
Medications at the moment:
- Redomex
- Tradozone
- Magnecaps
- D-cure
That was about it, but im feeling that there has to be some changes in pills, because this aint to fun. And actually im not feeling any "progress" with the pain, its the same, sometimes even more. Well well, lets see what it gives in february..
In sweden!
Well here i am, day before christmas, with a massive headache :( Hoping that i wont wake up with it tomorrow again, because then im pretty fucked, for some reasons...
Have not done THAT much yet, just been at home having quality time with my family, and how i have missed them!
Today we have been making some christmas candy, and i have also baked the lemon cake i wanted to try, and it was daaaamn tasty!
Yesterday my mom, me, my sister, and her friend was shopping the last christmas presents, and some new underwear for me. Wasnt planned, but found quite some nice stuff for not much money :)
Tomorrow there is christmas eve, and it will be spent in my grandparents place, and it will be nice to see them again.
The day after christmas im gonna go horse-stuff-shopping with Poot!! :D and in the afternoon/evening im gonna meet up with Löken :)
On wednesday my "plastic" grandfather is coming down from sthlm, and later on that day my grandfathers birthday is gonna be celebrated.
On thursday im gonna meet my lovely childhood friend that i havnt met for i dont know how long now! And im reaaaaaally looking forward to it! Have been missing her quite alot!
Then its friday, and im going back to belgium. Early as hell, but one way its super, because the sooner i meet my lovely boyfriend again!
Im feeling a bit sad that he couldnt join me to sweden, and not enough with that, he is gonna be all alone over christmas :( My poor honeybunny!
Well, thats it for now. Im gonna crawl into bed in a bit and watch some movie with my brother, and then sleep and hope for a headache-free christmas! Good night folks!
Just another tuesday.
Well,well... Now its not long time left until im off for sweden :) Im really looking forward to it!
Today it has been freezing, so no riding on Itza, no riding at all actually, because of the fact that we dont have the luxury of a indoor. And was supposed to ride 3 horses and hold 1-2 lessons today, but everything got cancelled, the ground was too hard. I wish it was gonna freeze now for 2-3 weeks, and then no more... Then i can give itza her winter rest now, and then start again nice and fresh next year.. But probably its gonna freeze now for a few days, then 1-2 days on + and then freeze again and so on... Dont like it at all!
Itza is really deserving a winter rest, since she has been so incredible nice lately. Think she is feeling just super right now, and nothing is really any problem. A bit worried though, that if she stands still, that she gets stiff, and the problems starts again, but i dont know.. Think that as long as she is not standing inside the box all day long, that she is outside more or less the whole day, that it will be just good and nice for her.. I Hope..
Well, except for that i dont get money, i feel that it was nice to not ride today actually. It feels a bit like im about to get a cold or so.. Or its just the normal shit, that my muscles are messing with me.. Im very stiff in the lower back, and in my thies. When i have been riding 4-5 horses, i allways have pain in the back later. But yeah, thats how it is i guess, specially when its cold... Even though i have alot of "layers" of clothes, they get sweaty after a while and then the back gets cold anyway...
Would really like to take a warm bath right now, but yeah, we dont have a bath just yet.....
So now, i dont know, do the dishes or so? hahaha im not used to be home this early and be finished with everything... But yeah :p
Down...
Dont know whats going on right now... Since after the doctors visit, i feel shit. Have a weird feeling in my body, and at the same time i just feel so down, deep down.
Have these redicelous thoughts in my head, and they make me sad. Crying sad.
Thanks to the fact that i dont know why or whats the reason for me feeling like this, there is easy becoming discussions. Hard discussions, and then anger. Not anger from my side, im just more down. Doesnt matter what the discussions are about, im just getting so sad, because im missunderstood. Im not saying that i feel bad, just to get away, but thats what seemed to be believed since i cant explain the problem.
Just want to be alone, but at the same time so close.. Dont know what to do right now with myself. Cant take another discussion right now, not today, not until i have gotten a bit clearity in my mind, but no one understands that, or sees that.
A hot, hot shower now, and then i dont know what to do.
What a shit day.
Doktorn doktorn doktorn...
Japp, idag var det tid hos doktorn igen... Fylla pâ mina recept osv... Diskuterat en massa, dâ jag har en hel del krângel i kroppen... Nu ska vi testa pâ o ändra p-piller av nâgra anledningar, o blir det inte bättre, sâ ska jag nog byta ut redomexen, dâ den är en liten jävul som ställer till det extra mycket när jag inte vill alls...
Vi fâr se... Nu har jag iaf tabletter sâ jag klarar mig över jul osv.. Eller ja, behöver fortfarande hämta ut mer magnesium och d-vitamin men har fortfarande lite sâ väntar ett tag till..
Läkaren avrâdde mig frân att börja jobba nu ocksâ, "Det tar minst 6 veckor innan en fraktur är läkt", sâ nu gav hon mig en vecka till, efter det skiter jag i vad hon säger o jobbar iaf, dâ det bara är 4 dagar o sen âker jag till sverige....
Âter igen har hon remitterat mig till en fysioterapeut, men jag fâr ju aldrig arslet ur vagnen till o dra dit sâ det är ju inge bra...Men fâr väl se till o göra det nu denna vecka, iaf för första gângen....
Menmen.... Undrar fortfarande var mitt paket har tagit vägen... Mâste ju kommit bort nâgonstans eller sâ? Brukar ju inte ta mer än ett par dagar för ett Brev/tjockt brev/Litet paket att komma hit?? Visst kan det ju vara sâ att postflyg osv blivit inställt osvosv men ändâ! Det är över en vecka sedan det skickades o det tycker jag är lustigt!! Meenmen, o inte nog med att jag väntar pâ det paketet, pojkvännens bror skulle beställa kläder o vi bad honom beställa vârat pâ samma gâng, men självklart sâ glömmer han o beställa mina grejer? AA MEN KUL DÂ!!!!!!!!!! :(
Nu ska jag dra mig till stjärnan. Jag slutar aaaaaldrig att förundras över kapaciteten i min lilla arabiska fullblodsponny!! Igâr pâbörjade vi Passage! Sââââââ duktig!
Again, bad weather!
This morning Belgium surprised me, it was a bit white outside! Believe it or not, but i got a bit happy... Me, the one who hates snow.. But yeah weird...
But the snow didnt last very long, it got changed out by wet snow, and then pure rain...
Was busy riding, and got totally soakt... Also feel a bit ashamed for that i didnt ride Itza today... Yesterday was the resting day, and now today aswell... But yeah, the paddock was a f*cking lake, and it was raining as hell, so neighter she or me wanted to continue :/
Hope for better weather tomorrow...
Incredible animal..
Yepyep here i am, sunday again...
Today i have gotten "back to my routines", Itza resting day, wich for me meens "Cleaning the tack" day. Normally i want to do it every time i have been riding, but since time is too short every day, i make sure to do it on sundays. But now the last couple of weeks it havnt been happening, since the finger and so on. So today it was really nessecary.
Yesterday i tried a bit things with Itza. Was just gonna jogg her a bit and then take a little walk on the road... Well, what i tried was: Putting the double bit bridle on her again. Long time ago now, but she did it perfectly. Actually better than she did from the beginning, since she then was throwing a bit with the head... Well she gets better and better on the tempies! Yesterday she could do it down to every 3rd. But we will continue practicing and see where it goes. She never stops surprising me with how much she can do.
For the rest not much have been happening for my part today, have been painting a bit in the house, ( fixing corners that had floaten out a bit ) and a bit normal shit like cleaning up a bit. Still need to clean quite some in here but that was not for today, its after all sunday ;)
So now im gonna cut some fruit and lay down in front of the tv, wich is as allways not showing anything worth looking at but yeah...
Good night!
